


Memories of a Broken heart

by Dehudification



Category: Personal characters - Fandom
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Eventual Smut, M/M, Multiple Endings, NSFW, Painfully slow build, Post-Break Up, Slow Build, break-up, character fanfiction, i WANTED TO UPLOAD THIS SOMEWHERE TO KEEP ME MOTIVATED TO UPDATE IT, more than one ending, the title is temporary i might change it idk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-16
Updated: 2016-08-20
Packaged: 2018-07-24 07:19:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 11,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7499175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dehudification/pseuds/Dehudification
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek Krider and Callum Yukain were your stereotypical high school sweethearts, but they eventually drifted apart after graduation. Callum had gone through few and bad relationships, causing him to be apprehensive towards others feelings towards him. He never thought he would see Derek again, but what will happen when Derek visits him at work eight years later?</p><p>OR [original prompt]</p><p>Your OTP used to date in high school, but drifted apart after graduation. Years later, Person B is struggling, and had just gotten out of a really bad relationship a few months prior. They still had bruises and/or mental scars from the relationship. Whilst at their work, they are surprised to see Person A, who had moved away after they broke up. Person A has become very successful and is surprised to see Person B. Person A wants to get back together, and Person B still has strong feelings for them, but is scared to get involved in a new relationship. Person A, however, is insistent, what happens next is up to the author.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Unsteady Starts

**Author's Note:**

> "Hey, I’m going out with someone close...is that alright?"

I never really imagined Derek and I would break up, I really didn’t. It wasn’t even really official, we just kind of drifted apart.

 

Derek and I were your stereotypical couple, always seen with each other in the hallways of the high school, sneaking kisses on dates, your typical, mushy kind of stuff. There’s only one difference about our relationship; we’re both guys. It’s not a big deal, but some of the kids in school definitely made a big reaction out of it. Some were all ecstatic that we were the first official gay couple in school, others constantly called us names in the hallways. Either way, neither of us minded it - what mattered is we loved each other. I know it’s cliche, but it’s true.

 

I still remember Derek telling me as we laid together on his bed that we’d always be together. He always wanted to have us adopt kids together and be one happy family. The excitement in his voice and eyes passed on to me, as well.

 

Everything about our relationship was going perfect; that was until we graduated from high school. At first, we both thought it was going to be great - we were going to get away from the bullies who called us countless homophobic slurs in the hallways, and we’d be able to start a life of our own. We were planning on moving in together even, but we drifted apart before that ever happened.

 

Derek went immediately to college, getting into a really nice and expensive university. I was happy for him, I really was, but I just didn’t feel like it was right for me. I was already seated in a pretty comfortable job that paid somewhat decently, and I figured I could get by in an apartment with the job I had, so I stuck with it. After Derek began going to college though, we didn’t have as much time to talk - not with him having to do more homework on top of a job where he worked overtime, working from 7PM to 10PM. He didn’t even live with me, he lived in a college dorm room while he attended class. The only time we ever really met up anymore was during every other weekend, and every time we met, I could tell we were drifting farther and farther apart. I think he could sense it, too. Every single “date” we went on, we grew more quiet, and he didn’t have the same sparkle in his eyes when he looked at me. It tore me apart. I still loved him, but I could tell by the end of his first year at college that he was done, then we just stopped seeing each other. We honestly didn’t even talk through text.

 

Then one day, he sent me a text out of the blue. It wasn’t specific, but it was hinting at “us” being done.

 

_Hey, I’m going out with someone close...is that alright?_

  
I wasn’t even sure why he was asking permission honestly.

 

 _Of course, have fun._ I waited a few minutes to hit “enter”. If I did, that means I’d be cutting off our relationship right there, even if it wasn’t official.

 

 _Alright, thanks so much._ And that was it, we never spoke to each other again - that is, until almost a decade later.


	2. Happy Birthday, Babe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of insight on how Callum's been doing since the break-up, and a bit of a problem. (;

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Okay? What do you mean okay?”

**| SEVEN YEARS LATER |**

 

Ever since the tenth grade, I’ve been working at our town’s local book store. At first I started out as just a clerk, earning a little bit over minimum wage. Over the years of working here, I had gotten promoted to the supervisor, so I was mostly involved in training new staff and taking care of money problems and the stock, but I insisted that I perform some tasks that the regular clerks did as well.

 

Today was my birthday, so my boss was letting me off a little bit earlier than they normally would. My boss doesn’t typically do this, and I tried to decline her offer, but she insisted that I take it off since I hadn’t taken a single day off since I worked here, even if I stayed home from school back when I was still in high school.

 

After leaving work, I went straight home, dreading what was there. After my breakup with Derek, my next relationships were unsteady. It was my relationship with Blake that lasted for four years - that one was the worst. Our first year together, we were complete lovebirds, almost as close as I was with Derek, but after that, I saw the same thing with my previous relationships. The spark in his eyes disappeared, and I was afraid of him leaving the same way Derek did. I never told him this, though, so I was shocked when he stayed for another three years. But really, now that I look back on it, I wish he really had just broken up with me after the first year.

 

Blake began to come home later than he normally did, and every time, he came home with the reeking odor of alcohol on his breath. He would suddenly begin to yell at me, calling me names and shoving me. At first, I was confused why he was so upset, thinking I did something wrong, but it eventually came to me that this was just who he was. Ever after that first night he came home drunk, he eventually became abusive even if he was sober. Every week I would come to work with a new bruise in various places on my body. My co-workers and close friends, Mayka and Abel, would be tending to me constantly, worried out of their minds. I always brushed their distress at my health conditions away, insisting that I was fine. They demanded that I break up with Blake, but everytime I tried, I would just wake up the next day, unable to remember what caused so much pain in my sides until I saw the look in his eyes the next morning: crazed and spiteful.

 

I pulled into the driveway of our apartment, and heaved a sigh. Sitting back in the seat of the car, I waited a few minutes before entering the small apartment, apprehensive of who would be waiting for me.

 

The lights were off, and I could see the dark silhouette of my boyfriend sitting in the darkest corner. I trembled as I closed the door, my hand still on the handle as I stared into the corner. To my surprise, as I examined the floor, I saw the smashed bottles from yesterday were gone, and the corner Blake sat in didn’t reek of alcohol like it normally would if he were there, which wasn’t any less of a relief.

 

Clearing my throat, I hesitantly began to spoke, “Blake? Are you okay?” The silhouette of the man shifted in his seat, and I could see his looming form step towards me. Slowly backing up, I felt the door knob press into the lower part of my back. 

_ Shit. _ I began to panic as the figure slumped towards me. It wasn’t until he was inches away from me that the lights were turned on, and I was greeted with a wide grin on his all too cheerful face.

 

“Hey babe. Happy birthday.” Blake grabbed me, pulling me into an embrace, and I stood there, stunned at first, but eventually wrapped my own arms around him. We separated, and he gave me a quick kiss on the forehead.

 

“How was work, love? I hope it was good?” 

 

_ Why is he being so cheerful? _ I was shocked by the way he was acting. “It-it was good. My boss let me off a little bit early since it’s my birthday. How are you?” Blake’s grin grew even wider, and he patted my back rather aggressively.

 

“That’s fantastic to hear!” I looked up at him, and I noticed his smile was gone, and I tilted my head like a confused dog.

 

“Something wrong?” I asked, my worry beginning to come back. 

 

“Listen, we’ve been dating each other for four years...I know I haven’t been the best of boyfriends,” I could believe my ears, was I really hearing this? “But I know there isn’t a way to make up for it. The only thing I can think of is to let you go, and see if you can have any more luck with someone better.”

 

The air was tense, and I remained quiet for awhile before finding my voice.

 

“Okay.” Surprisingly, my voice didn’t crack, or get tense with excitement. It remained monotone and expressionless; this seemed to upset Blake.

 

“Okay? What do you mean okay?” He frowned, placing his hands on his hips - that wasn’t good.

 

“It means okay. I’m fine with you wanting to move on. Maybe it’ll be for the better.” I shrugged, shuffling my feet slightly. He didn’t like that. Blake backed up slightly, his expression stone cold. The taller man began to pace ever so slightly before looking back at me.

 

“You’re not supposed to just be okay with this. You’re supposed to be  _ begging  _ for me to stay, and then I leave you fucking heartbroken. What, do you not fucking love me or some shit?” I could feel anxiety bubbling in my gut, but my expression remained the same.

 

“It’s not that I don’t love you. I just feel that if you think we should breakup, I’m okay with that. Things happen and they just aren’t meant to be. I’m not going to get over-the-top upset about this; I’ve broken up with people before.” 

 

_ That really set him off. _ I thought as he came towards me, face inches apart from mine, his breath ragged. My mind began to race as I looked down at his hands for half of a second; his hands were clenched into fists. He seemed to notice me looking away, and it made the situation worse. He grabbed my jaw, putting pressure where his fingertips rested.

 

“You’re going to fucking regret that, then.” I saw something flash in front of my eyes, and I was greeted with a sudden pain.

Everything went by so fast, I hardly had time to process it. All I can truly recall of that encounter is a lot of pain, followed by me curled up on the floor, looking at Blake as he left the house, taking his stuff with him. Tears streamed down my face as I watched him leave - he didn’t even take one more look at me before he left. The door slammed shut with a  _ bang _ , and the sounds of me sobbing began to resonate around the apartment. 

  
My body hurt all over, and I imagined it wouldn’t take long for the bruises to start forming. I just didn’t want to get up - I continued to lay there, thinking about everything Blake did to me these past three years. All of it’s over now. I’m finally done with him...but at what cost?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo, another chapter. :D It's super early in the morning for me, but since I'm uploading every three days, why not upload this one now? Hope you enjoyed, and all feedback and comments are welcome!


	3. It's been years...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's just another regular day at work...right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "“I want to talk to you about something.”
> 
> “We have nothing to talk about.”"

**| ONE YEAR LATER |**

 

“Thank you, please come again.” I smiled as a customer of the day purchased a few books. When they headed out, I began to look at the different book shelves we had. I heard one of the clerks grunt, followed by a few other noises, and I assumed they fell or dropped something, so I nodded to the cashier next to me, and went over to help them out. 

 

I turned the corner from where I heard the noise coming from, and crossed my arms slightly, tapping my foot quietly as they got up, books falling off of them. They frantically began to pick up the books, trying to put them back where they belonged before I cleared my throat. The clerk whirled around, and grinned nervously which caused me to chuckle.

 

“Hey Callum sir. Sorry about this mess and all, I guess I was just not being careful enough.” They stammered out, afraid I was going to be harsh with them.

 

“That’s fine, just be careful next time, alright? I don’t want anyone getting hurt.” I smiled, bending down to pick up a few of the books. I heard the rushing of feet behind me, but didn’t think anything of it, thinking it may have been a kid rushing to the kid’s aisle. We had just finished putting the last of the books there when I heard a voice that sounded awfully familiar.

 

“Hey, does someone by the name of Callum Yukain still work here?” The mysterious voice asked, and I could tell that they were at the cash register, “They used to be a clerk. I need to find him.” Casually, I strolled from where I was, and had a bit of a smug grin on my face, seeing the back of the man who stood at the cash register impatiently. He turned slightly, not seeing me, but I saw his face clearly.

 

It was Derek.

 

Before he could see me, I turned back around, my eyes wide. I went back into the aisle I was just in, and the clerk who was still standing there raised and eyebrow.

 

“I’m going to be back here for a while, pretend that we’re working.” I said quickly. The clerk, although confused, obeyed, and began messing with a few of the books. I reorganized the books, and I heard footsteps from nearby.

 

“Callum!” I winced as I heard the familiar voice call out. I didn’t even look up as he came close to me.

 

“I’m busy working. Try talking to me some other time when I’m not on shift.”

  
“Well, when’s your next break? I’ll wait.” I froze.

 

_ Well, shit. _ I placed the book I was holding back onto the shelf, “I already took my break, you’ll have to come back tomorrow.” My voice was shaky, and I could tell Derek was frowning as he crossed his arms.

 

“When does your shift end?” Derek continuously poked, but I continued to work.

 

“Why does that matter? We’re not together anymore, and I don’t see why you would be interested eight years later.”

 

“I want to talk to you about something.”

 

“We have nothing to talk about.”

 

“Yes, we do.” Derek grabbed my shoulder, and I flinched, causing him to let go, “I’m sorry, but please, can we just talk some time after your shift?”

 

Heaving a sigh, I finally looked at him, and it was like I was brought back in time. I wasn’t even really aware of what I was doing before I heard the words come out of my own mouth.

 

“Fine, my shift ends at six.” I saw Derek perk up, and he checked his watch, seeing that it was 4:40.

 

“Perfect, I can wait that long. Thanks so much, this means so much to me. I have no idea how to thank-”

 

“I’m still on shift. You’re not supposed to bother staff unless you need help with something.” I spoke, my voice flat as I looked back to the bookshelf. Derek nodded hesitantly before turning around.

 

“I’ll just look for something to buy then.” I heard him call as he walked away, leaving the clerk and I alone.

 

“What was that about?” The clerk raised an eyebrow, looking at me curiously.

 

“Ah, he’s someone I dated back in high school. I’m surprised he even remembers me - we drifted apart after graduation.”

 

“Oh, I see.” The clerk said slowly, taking in the information, “I’ll go get Mayka. She seems to know more about relationships and you than I do.” They turned and walked away, and I sighed.

 

_ What am I getting myself into? _

Mayka rushed over to where I was, and as soon as I looked at her, I could tell she knew was not happy with what was happening.

 

“Callum, what were you thinking?” She demanded, careful to not touch my bruised arm that was covered up by a long-sleeved shirt.

 

“I don’t know. He wouldn’t back down until I agreed to talk to him.” I sighed, rubbing my arm gently. Mayka sighed, looking out at the table where Derek sat. He was reading a book and drinking some coffee, glancing up at where I stood every once in awhile.

 

“Listen, I know you two were a good couple back in high school, but with the way you too broke up? I just don’t think it’s a good idea to even talk to him. Besides, you just got out of a really nasty relationship a few months ago. Blake still comes after you at every chance he gets. Didn’t he and his buddy get you just last week?” Mayka pointed out, and I felt wetness around my eyes.

 

“Yeah, he did…” I looked down as my voice choked up a little bit, revealing my arms which were bruised, “I don’t know why he keeps coming after me. I guess he really wanted me to be upset he left me. I thought it was over, but I was too hopeful.” Mayka wrapped her arms around me sympathetically, careful to not touch any sensitive skin, and I sighed, “Maybe Derek just wants to be friends, or talk about things and get us sorted out so we don’t have to worry about each other anymore.”

 

“I highly doubt that’s what he wants to talk about.” Mayka lowered her arms, forcing me to look her in the eyes, “Listen, Callum. If he tries to come onto you, I want you to get out of there - where ever you may be - and go straight to my house or Abel’s. I don’t want you getting hurt or doing something you regret.”

 

I let out a chuckle, “You sound like the world’s most overprotective mom right now.”

 

“I’m serious, Callum.” Mayka rolled her eyes, “Please just be careful, alright?”

 

“Alright, alright. I’ll be careful.” I exhaled as Mayka left. I stopped to look at my phone, the time on it said “5:56” and I began to make my way into the back room, seeing as it took much longer than it should to get there. I packed up my belongings and went back into the store, keeping an eye out for Derek. He had remained in the same spot he was since he sat down, and I waved to him when he looked up once again. He packed up his things and went over to purchase his book. When he was done, he approached me, grinning.

 

“So, where did you want to go?” I asked, raising an eyebrow as I tried to remain cool.

 

“I was hoping you could join me for a drink or something. What I need to talk to you about is really important.” He grabbed my arm, and I pulled it back, which earned me a confused expression on his face.

 

“Sorry, I don’t like people touching my arms or any part of my body for that matter.”

 

“How come? I remember you used to be fine with it when we were dating.”

 

“I’d really rather not talk about it.” I stutter, rubbing my arm gently. Shrugging, he turned around.

 

“Let’s go then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooh, what does Derek wants to talk about? Will he ask why Callum doesn't like being touched? We'll just have to wait and see. ;D  
> Callum's also a little bit of a dick in this chapter, too.


	4. Take a swig of my love, darling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Derek and Callum have some catching up to do, and Derek gets a bit nosy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "“Listen, the reason I came here was because I finally graduated college only a year ago and,” he paused to look at me, “I’m going to put it right out there: I miss you.”"

We both drove in our own cars, but it didn’t exactly take long for us to get to the bar that was only a street down. I exited my car, and quickly made my way inside, seeing he had just parked and was barely getting out of his car.

 

Once we were both inside, we sat down at the bar counter, neither of us speaking until the bartender came up to us.

 

“What can I get you, sir?” The bartender asked Derek, and he ordered bourbon before turning to me.

 

“What would you like?” He asked me, and I looked down nervously before speaking up.

 

“I don’t drink alcohol, I’ll just have something non-alcoholic if that’s alright.” The bartender raised an eyebrow before nodding. He arrived with the drinks, and Derek took a big gulp before he turned to me.

 

“So, how’s life been treating you since we split?” He asked, and I replied with a shrug, taking a sip of the water.

 

“It’s been so-so.” That was a blatantly obvious lie, but I couldn’t let him know what happened between Blake and I.

 

“I know something happened, Cal. You and I were always so intimate and physical, you never flinched or writhed away when I touched something as simple as your wrist, plus you used to never wear long-sleeved shirts, especially when it’s as hot as it is now. What happened?” He narrowed his eyes, observing my face.

 

“I swear nothing happened. I’ve just been having a bit of a hard time getting by. It’s getting better, though.” I trembled, unable to look at him. Sighing in defeat, Derek took another gulp of the beverage and looked onward.

 

“Listen, the reason I came here was because I finally graduated college only a year ago and,” he paused to look at me, “I’m going to put it right out there: I miss you.”

 

“So you expect me to just go out with you again and everything’s all perfect and we’re the star-crossed lovers like we were in high school?” I scoffed, taking another sip of the cold, refreshing water.

 

“Well, no…” He looked down a little bit, nervous, “I was just hoping we could fix our relationship and be at least friends again. Maybe then something would happen?”

 

I shook my head, “We can be friends, but I highly doubt anything would ever happen between us again.” As soon as I said that, I could see the hurt in his eyes and I instantly regretted it, but he shook his head, drinking the last of his bourbon before he got up, paid for the both of us, and left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gah, sorry this one is so short, it's more of a filler chapter and them catching up. The next chapter will be better, I promise.


	5. Late Night Shifts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some conversation between Callum and Mayka, Callum gets jumped

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "“Cal, are you sure this is a good idea?” I shook my head at her question.
> 
> “Of course not, I have no idea.” "

“Well? How did it go?” Mayka asked the next day, and I replied with a shrug, causing her to frown, “Callum, you have to tell me.” 

 

“It went fine; nothing big happened. He wanted to get back together but I turned him down, suggesting we should just remain friends.” I said as I placed another book on the shelf.

 

“So, are you going anywhere with him anytime soon?” She asked, placing her hands on her hips.

 

“He has my phone number, he’ll talk with me if he wants anything.”

 

“Cal, are you sure this is a good idea?” I shook my head at her question.

 

“Of course not, I have no idea.” 

  
  
  
  


My shift ended really late that night; I started working at 4, but it ended around 10. I was walking down the street in the dark to where I parked my car, which was only a few ways down - the parking spots had been crowded earlier, so I was forced to park farther from work.

 

I hadn’t even really been aware of the two taller men behind me. It wasn’t until I got to my car that I felt something grab my arm and shove me aggressively against the door to my vehicle, face pressed up against the glass. I tried to look at who it was, but before I could get a clear glance at what my attackers looked like, pain seared through out my face as they punched me in the eye. I whimpered slightly, and heard them chuckle in response.

 

“You know, Callum. I knew you were fucking weak, but I wasn’t expecting that.” My eyes, well, eye, seeing as my other one couldn’t be opened since it was pressed up against glass, shot open, and I was able to see that it was Blake. Except he wasn’t alone - his friend Apollyon was with him.

 

The reason I knew Apollyon was because Blake always invited him over to our apartment and would get so drunk that Blake had to drive him home. The only problem was he used up all our alcohol, which pissed Blake off - and he ended up taking it out on me. I shuddered, not sure if it was because of the cold night or out of fear, as I stood there, pinned against the car unable to move.

 

Blake kneed my lower back and it stung, “Yeah, don’t think I forgot what I did to you last time. It was too good to not remember; leaving you bloody and bruised right outside your door. I’m surprised you’re still alive after that.” With that, he threw me to the ground and proceeded to kick me in the gut, air leaving my body as his shoe collided against my body repeatedly.

 

My vision began to blur until the kicking stopped, leaving there only to be the resonating sting on my stomach. My ears rang, but I could hear grunting and yelling.

_ Is someone fighting them? _ I thought weakly as I laid there. I couldn’t move, but my eyes lolled slowly to look up - right as someone fell on me. I recognized the fallen person as Apollyon, his hand slammed down on my face, but I couldn’t blame him - he didn’t know he landed on me. He scrambled to his feet, tripped over me, and ran off. I could see another dark shadow racing towards me. I had hoped they were just going to run off and leave me be, but they stopped and I felt a shoe collide with my face. Ouch. I felt something warm beginning to slowly run down my face, I assumed it was blood. I heard Blake’s laugh from above me before he began moving again, and I saw the third figure rushing over to me. My eyes involuntarily closed, but I could still hear the person talking. They said something along the lines of asking if I was okay, or I think they were trying to tell me to open my eyes. All I can remember is them picking me up and taking me somewhere - I’m not sure where.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's a tad on the short side as well, but there's a lot that happens. c: And who came to Callum's rescue?


	6. Bruises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Callum wakes up in a strange house. Who rescued him last night?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The way we broke up was shitty as all hell and I want to make it up to you.” He gently took my face in his hands, forcing me to look at him, “I need to make it up to you.”

I woke up with what appeared to be a bag of ice over my eye, and I instantly felt a sharp pain in my gut. Groaning, I rolled to the side and opened my good eye.

 

_ This isn’t my house. _ I shot up straight in a white bed, and then winced in pain as I clenched my stomach. After the pain eventually subsided, I opened my eyes and looked around. The room I was in was very clean and it looked as though it wasn’t used often.  _ Where the hell am I? _ Carefully, I swung my legs so they dangled over the edge of the bed. Getting up, I made my way over to the door, opening it slowly. 

 

The house was fairly easy to navigate, and I eventually found myself in the kitchen. Unfortunately, I still couldn’t tell whose house it was. I whirled around as I heard someone clear their throat.

 

“Who were they?” Derek asked, leaning against the door frame. I could see the discontent on his face, even through the mask of sleep.

 

“I have no idea.” I mumbled, shuffling my feet.

 

“Bullshit. I heard what they said with my own ears. Don’t lie to me.” Derek crossed his arms and continued to glare at me with his tired, groggy eyes.

 

“Why does it matter, they’re not here now are they?” I avoided the confrontation as best as I could, but then he said something I couldn’t ignore.

 

“I saw them jump you, but when I changed your clothes, there was a lot more bruises and cuts than what they gave you when I saved your ass, which you’re welcome, by the way.”

 

“Yeah, thanks…” I said, looking down, “He uh...The one with the more spiked hair is Blake - he’s my ex. We broke up last year, and he still wants to make my life a uh, living hell.” My face burned, and I could feel tears pricking at my eyes. Derek stepped towards me, and when I looked up, his face was filled with concern, sympathy, and guilt?

 

“I’m sorry...I shouldn’t have asked.” He mumbled as he gently placed his hands on my upper arms. I shook my head, pulling myself away from him.

 

“You don’t need to apologize. It was my fault for being in that relationship in the first place.” I shuddered, and he wrapped his arms around me.

 

“Listen, I know you’re probably not going to want to do this, but I want you to stay with me. As long as this Blake guy is a threat, I want you to be as safe as possible.” I pulled away from the hug, frantically shaking my head.

 

“I can’t, I’m sorry. I need to go to my house.” I avoided looking at Derek.

 

“Then I’ll go and stay with you. I moved back here recently because my job wanted me to, so I’ll be able to make sure you’re safe.” I heaved a sigh, debating whether to take him up on his offer.

 

I was quiet for a few minutes before replying, “I have friends who can come over and make sure I’m safe. I’ve changed the locks since Blake and I broke up anyways.” I could hear the slightest growl in Derek’s throat, and I refused to look at him.

  
“I don’t care if you have friends. I want to be there and make sure you’re safe. The way we broke up was shitty as all hell and I want to make it up to you.” He gently took my face in his hands, forcing me to look at him, “I  _ need _ to make it up to you.” The look in his eyes put me into a deep trance, and I could feel my head nodding slowly. He smiled gently, and pulled me into an embrace. We stayed like that for who knows how long, and it reminded me of when we were young.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well here's another chapter sajfkdsxnm. This one's also a little short, but it still brings a lot into the plot. :v


	7. Surprise, Surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Callum gets a call, Derek says he's going to take him somewhere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “What will you do about work? You obviously can’t go today; not with what you described. So you’re just going to hang around all day with Derek?”

“Callum, you can’t be serious.” I cringe slightly as I hear Mayka’s disapproving tone over the phone.

 

“I have no choice; besides, he’s right. I can’t stay alone.”

 

“Well, you could’ve at least asked Abel or me before-”

 

“I did, Mayka. Besides, what’s the worst that could happen, anyways? Nothing will happen, I promise.” She sighed, and I could tell by the way she went silent afterwards, she was pacing, “I swear I’ll be fine. It’s just temporary.”

 

“Well,” She paused, gathering her own thoughts, “What will you do about work? You obviously can’t go today; not with what you described. So you’re just going to hang around all day with Derek?”

 

“No. He has work, so I’m not going to be hanging around all day. Besides, it’s just stomach pains; I can still get around and do things. I’ll just be a bit slower than usual; I’m still going to work.” I could practically see Mayka’s face full of anger as I finished the statement.

 

“Callum there is no way you are going to work today. Please call in sick.”

 

“I’m not technically sick, am I? I just hurt. I’m going Mayka, and that’s the end of the story. Bye.” I hung up before she could respond and I shoved my phone into my pocket. I could hear Derek shuffling around in the kitchen, and my eyes rested on the clock that read 8:34AM, I still had another hour to get ready for work. I hardly even noticed Derek walking from the kitchen to stand in front of me.

 

“Hey, I don’t know what that person over the phone said, but if they’re suggesting you stay home, you should. I know you’re stubborn and all, but really, you’re not in any condition to go to work.” Derek stared intently at me as I tightened my fists slightly, but I eventually let out a sigh and looked down slightly.

 

“Fine, I’ll call in sick.” I reached into my pocket and dialed my boss’s number, and Derek turned around.

 

“Oh, and by the way, I’m staying with you for as long as I can. I want to make sure you’re as comfortable as possible.” He spoke as he walked back into the kitchen, not looking back at me, “Hey, maybe if you’re up for it later today, I have a place in mind we could go to just for a bit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah yeah yeah, this one's short too I"M SORRY.  
> I forgot how short i made these chapters ):


	8. Not Coming Back Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trip to a carnival!...since when did Callum have a fear of heights?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “You’re adorable when you’re half-asleep, you know that?”

“So where are we going, anyways?” I pondered as we sat in Derek’s car, the engine purring as we drove along the smooth concrete of the highway.

 

“It’s a surprise.” Rolling my eyes at Derek’s cheesy grin, I look out the window, the grass, trees, and sky blurring together to produce a blue-green pattern. I was hardly aware of what my mind was thinking before I realized I was caught in a trance of moments when Derek and I were still together back in high school.

 

_ The two of us were sitting on his couch, me cuddled up next to him, his arm wrapped around me carefully. I remember feeling my eyes drooping heavily; I was almost asleep when I heard a deep, hearty chuckle resonating from Derek’s chest. _

 

_ “You’re adorable when you’re half-asleep, you know that?” I felt his lips press gently against my forehead, and I smiled, eyes closing. _

_ “I love you so damn much. I don’t want to lose you, not ever.”  _ I hear him say before I’m snapped back into reality.

 

“Well? Are you going to respond or not?” I blinked rapidly, remembering where I was. I felt my cheeks burn up, and I looked over at him.

 

“Uh,” I didn’t even hear what he was asking. I could see Derek roll his eyes.

 

“I’ll ask again, have you gotten a promotion at work? I know how hard you worked when we were back in highschool. I want to know if it’s earned you any sort of reward.”

 

“Yeah. I’m a supervisor now, but I still insist that I do some of the jobs the clerks have just to make it easier on them. My co-workers Mayka and Abel also got promotions. Abel is the manager’s assistant while Mayka’s just stayed a clerk. She did get a raise though so she earns more than the regular clerks.” Derek nodded slowly, and turned the car so we pulled into a driveway of a somewhat busy carnival. After parking the car, he turned off the engine and looked at me, sitting back a bit in his seat.

 

“Well, here we are.” He had a big grin on his face, and I looked to see what the name of the place was.

 

“The good old Mt Trashmore carnival? I can’t believe they still do this annually.” I chuckled, examining the name.

 

“Well, I’m pretty sure it’s funded by someone who has a lot of money. But hey, I figured since we went here with a group of our friends once that it would be a good idea to relive some of the old memories.” He got out of the car and quickly rushed over to my side, opening the door for me.

 

“What a gentleman.” I scoff, ignoring the pain in my stomach as I stood up. He winked, closing the door and we both walked to the entrance together.

  
  
  
  


I shake my head, yawning as Derek looks at me with pleading eyes.

 

“Oh come on, it’ll be a great idea to go on the ferris wheel.” I checked my phone, seeing that the time was 10:30PM, and I narrowed my eyes.

 

“The park’s closing soon, we should just go home.” My eyelids were heavy, but my mind was very alert, and I could easily see the disappointed look in Derek.

 

“Just this one time, please?” My lips curled into a frown before I released a sigh.

 

“Fine, we can go on the ferris wheel.” Derek’s face brightened and he whirled around, making his way to the ferris wheel. I chuckled, following after him, happy to see him so ecstatic. 

  
  
  


We sat in the ferris wheel cabin across from each other, and I jumped slightly as the cabin jerked to a start. I could hear Derek’s familiar chuckle resonate slightly within the cabin and I glared at him playfully.

 

“So, you having fun, Cal?” Derek leaned back slightly, crossing his legs.

 

“Of course, it’s a carnival for god’s sake!” I let out a small, breathy laugh as I felt us going up higher in the sky.

 

“Hey, you okay?” Derek asked, tilting his head ever so slightly, and I nodded.

 

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just a bit nervous is all.” I looked down at the metal keeping us from falling to our deaths, avoiding looking out the windows.

 

“About what?”

 

“Nothing, it’s fine.” I shook my head, looking up to see his piercing eyes looking straight at me, and I knew he didn’t believe a word I was saying.

 

“Seriously, tell me what’s wrong.”

 

I hesitated slightly before letting out the breath I didn’t even know I was holding, looking back down in the meantime, “I guess I’m just kind of scared of heights. I don’t know why, but it’s terrifying.” I felt a hand rest on my shoulder, and both of our eyes locked for a moment. I could tell the air was tense, but with what? Suddenly I was aware of everything about Derek - the way his adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed, his muscles tensing up slightly.

  
“You’ll be okay. Trust me.” He smiled gently, his skin crinkling slightly around his eyes. I returned the caring statement with a smile, and I didn’t even realize the cabin had arrived at the bottom until the door opened, one of the carnival staff standing at the entrance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo, another chapter :D hope you guys enjoy!


	9. Baby, we're all living a Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Callum has an...interesting dream with Derek, which causes him to wake up in a cold sweat, what happened?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "“Cal, what are you doing up?”"

The muscles in his arms tensed up slightly, and the look in his eyes seemed...almost hungry. Before I could even process what that could’ve meant, his lips crash into mine, and I can feel his free hand gently grabbing my shirt. My eyes close as I kiss back even fiercer. The kiss grows more intense, and I can feel his hand on my shoulder slide down my side, and my body shudders at the sensation. It feels like my heart is about to beat out of my chest and I can hear the blood rushing throughout my body. A chuckle resonates from his chest, and his hand rests on my hip. He pushes back against me, and then all of a sudden he-

  
  
  


I shot up from where I was, laying in my bed, the time being 3 in the morning. I felt my heart racing and my body was practically covered in sweat. I raised my hand to wipe my forehead, and released a shuddery breath.

 

_ What the  _ fuck _ was that about? _ I laid down on my side, eyes wide and I could tell by just how warm my face was that I was blushing. After a moment of laying there, I get up and leave my room, unable to fall back asleep. I shuffle my way to the kitchen, flicking on the light, trying to rub the sleep away from my eyes. I take an apple from the counter, and bite into it, trying to process the dream.

 

_ So, we were on the ferris wheel, and instead of him telling me I was going to be okay, he kissed me? Why would I have a dream like that? _ I push the heel of my hand into my forehead, groaning slightly. My thoughts are interrupted as I hear a raspy voice from the entrance to the kitchen.

 

“Cal, what are you doing up?” A tired Derek rubbed his eyes, opening his mouth to yawn. I stand there for a bit, dumbfounded, as I try to collect my thoughts.

 

“I-I couldn’t sleep.” I stammered, my cheeks warming. Fortunately, Derek was too tired to notice my flustered appearance and he mumbled something, turning around to go back to the couch.

 

“Wait, Derek.” He stops and turns around, still half-asleep. “Are you absolutely sure you want to sleep on the couch? Sure I didn’t really want you to stay over at first, but the least I can do is offer you my bed to sleep on instead.” He shook his head, blinking slowly.

 

“No, you need it. I’m fine sleeping on the couch.” He grumbled, and I frowned slightly before opening my mouth and looking down embarrassed.

  
“Well, really we both could use a good, soft bed to sleep on. If you want uh,” Surely my face was noticeably red at this point, “Maybe we could both share the bed? I really do feel awful about you sleeping on the couch.” Derek raised an eyebrow, thinking of his options before he nodded.

 

“Yeah, that’s alright.” I felt a wave of relief and had to force myself to not sigh or make any physical notion of my relief.

“Well, I’m going to be staying up for a bit, so you can go ahead and go back to bed.” I yawned slightly, and Derek stumbled his way to the bedroom. When Derek was out of sight, I gripped the sides of the counter.

 

_ What the fuck was I thinking? I mean, yeah I was trying to be nice, but why invite him to  _ bed _? _ Sighing, I finished off the rest of the apple and stood in the kitchen only for a few minutes before I tip-toed quietly to the bedroom.

  
The door creaked open as I opened it slowly and peeked through, seeing Derek’s sleeping form covered by blankets. I felt fluttery all of a sudden, but I force myself to move forward. I crawl into the bed next to the sleeping male and avoid the effort of putting the blankets over myself. It still surprises me how fast I fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What a fantastic dream. :"D And DAMN IT CALL WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT U IDIOT-- nojk


	10. Well this is Embarrassing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Callum wakes up pretty awkwardly this morning...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Don’t worry about it, Derek. It’s not a big deal.”

Once more, my eyes were greeted by a bright light; the window. Groaning, I blink rapidly to adjust my eyes to the light. I shift in place to get more comfortable, but I only stop when I realize I can’t. Something’s wrapped around my waist, and I look down, seeing Derek’s arm wrapped around me.

 

_ Well fuck. _ I slowly reach down to move his arm out of the way, but I pause. I suddenly think back to when we were in our senior year, the last time we even slept in the same room before we graduated. His arm was wrapped around me, just like this. I feel tears threatening to come, but I blink them away.

 

_ We broke up eight years ago. This should mean nothing to me. _ I grab his hand gently and move it, only beginning to worry when he moves behind me, his arm wrapping tighter around my waist.  _ You’ve got to be kidding me. _ Turning in defeat, my face is brought right in front of his, and I stare, almost longingly.

He looks so peaceful as he’s sleeping; his features relaxed,  _ content _ . I feel my hand raising to caress his face gently, but I stop myself.

 

_ What am I doing? _ I bring my hand back down to his arm, and tug again, causing him to awaken. He blinks groggily, confused, and I look down in hopes to signal him to let go. His eyes follow mine and they rest on his arm, which he quickly removes, any tiredness from before gone.

 

“Oh shit. Cal I’m so sorry-” he began, but I shook my head, moving my body away from his.

 

“Don’t worry about it, Derek. It’s not a big deal.” I got up from the bed and stretched, avoiding looking at him, “So, you hungry?” Finally looking back at him, and I saw him nodding hesitantly.

 

We both make our way to the kitchen and I begin to cook up breakfast. Derek sat at the table, not even attempting to make eye contact. I caught myself stealing glimpses at him, surprised to find myself disappointed that he wasn’t looking back. The sizzling bacon was the only thing breaking the awkward silence between the two of us; the bacon was almost done when Derek spoke up.

 

“So...you going back to work today?” I nodded, turning off the stove as I was satisfied with the way the food was cooked.

 

“Yeah, I’m well enough I guess. Speaking of work, where do you work?” I raised an eyebrow, and Derek coughed a little bit before responding.

 

“I’m a bailiff.” I nodded before handing him a plate of bacon, which he took gratefully and began to eat.

  
There wasn’t anymore conversation between us between the time we finished eating and the time we both had to go to work. I felt the familiar twinge of disappointment, but forced the feeling down as I left my apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry these chapters have been so short and slow :c I'm sorry i swear it gets better LOL


	11. Cutting Ties

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone visits Callum at the store, does he have something to say?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "“If you have any questions or concerns, I would be glad to help. Just give me a bit of time as I rearrange these books real quick.”"

**Derek’s POV**

 

Starting up the engine to my car, I sighed, still feeling a bit guilty from this morning.

 

_ How the hell did I even manage to get my arm around him during the middle of the night? _ I pondered as I turned into the street, picking up speed. I know I already admitted it to him a few nights ago, but I still missed him. I still feel like a dick for the way we broke up - hell, that shouldn’t even count as a break-up. Time seemed to fly by as I drove along, and before I knew it, I had pulled into parking lot of the county court. 

 

_ I should make it up to him. _ I concluded as I turned off the car engine. A big grin spread across my face as I had the perfect idea of what to do.

  
  


**Callum’s POV**

 

“Well surely it’s been awkward, right?” Abel asked me. Him, Mayka and I were all on break, each of us drinking some sort of non-alcoholic beverage as we chatted.

 

“Of course. It was exceptionally awkward considering what happened this morning.” I froze slightly as the words slipped out of my mouth, and I instantly blushed.

 

“Wait, what happened this morning exactly, Callum?” Mayka rose an eyebrow, and I gulped down some of my coffee, trying to buy myself some time.

 

“Uh…” I was at a loss for words, but I was saved when I checked my watch, seeing that break was over, “Gotta go; break’s over.” I left before they could stop me and force an answer out of me, and I heaved a sigh of relief as I closed the door to the break room, closing my eyes as I rested my back against the door.

 

Not taking any time to let them come after me, I moved towards the opposite side of the store, minding my own business as I heard the door chime ring. Shrugging it off as some random customer, I went on ahead with rearranging the books on the shelf, assisting anyone who needed it when asked for help. I heard a knock on the wooden bookshelf next to me, but I didn’t look back.

 

“If you have any questions or concerns, I would be glad to help. Just give me a bit of time as I rearrange these books real quick.” I spoke, not particularly caring who was behind me.

 

“Well, I’m sure both of us know that I don’t have any questions or concerns.” My body stiffened as I recognized the voice. I let out a quiet, shaky breath and continued reorganizing the books.

 

“If you uh, don’t have any questions or concerns, it is advised that you quit uh, antagonizing staff. Failure to do so will result in you, well, getting kicked out. I’m sure you wouldn’t like that, would you, Blake?” He chuckled, and I felt his hand grab my shoulder, which caused me to flinch.

 

“Then it looks like I’m not going out without a fight then.” I turned to glare at him, and he raised his free hand, which was curled up into a fist.

 

“Sir, I am afraid that if you make any threats, I’m supposed to direct you to the doors and remove you from the uh, premises.” I stuttered, and Blake paused for a moment, but that was short to last as he leaned in towards my ear and whispered.

 

“Will you do that? I doubt it, you’re too much of a pathetic wimp to even stand up to me.” I frowned, stepping away from him.

 

_ I really wish I hadn’t left the break room right about now. _ I looked around frantically, unsure of where to go. To my surprise, a sudden wave of courage swept over me, and I stood up straight, clearing my throat.

 

“Apologies for any inconvenience, but I am afraid I will have to remove you from the premises for harassment of staff. Please exit the building without any struggle.” The words come out of my mouth smoothly, and Blake falters once more, taken aback as much as I was by the sudden burst of confidence; this however, resulted in him laughing.

 

“Oh really? How about you just try?” He snickered, and I grabbed the walkie talkie from my belt, pressing the button that would allow me to speak into it.

 

“Hey, we have a slight mishap near the fiction book section. Someone respond immediately, it requires the removal of one or more persons from the building.” I look up at him as I released the button I was holding down, and his jaw clenched, muttering a swear. Abel, to my surprise, quickly turned the corner, coming up behind Blake. I could see that he held back a gasp, and the expression on his face was filled with concern. Blake turned around, eyeing Abel as he laughed.

 

“Hey Abel, my main man. How’s it going?” He opened his arms as if to offer Abel a hug, but my friend just frowned, crossing his arms.

 

“Come on buddy, you’re bothering the staff; you need to leave.” He said, his voice firm and had an aura of authority in it. Blake frowned before shoving his hands in his pockets, turning towards the door. Abel and I escorted him there, and as he opened the door, I spoke up.

 

“It’s pointless to keep coming after me. I’m not afraid of you anymore.” He turned his head and glared, but didn’t say anything as he left. A sigh escaped my lips once the door closed, and I felt a hand on my shoulder.

 

“You okay, Callum?” I nodded, giving my friend a reassuring smile, and he looked down slightly, “That was rather brave of you, dealing with him on your own even though you called for back up later on. I think he’s finally going to leave you alone now, something about the way he looked at you when you said that.”

  
“I have to agree with you on that one. Maybe he’ll finally leave me be.” I welcomed the thought, but there was a twinge of guilt. For what, I have not a clue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another chapter rip, hope you all enjoy :"D ihavenoideawhattosaylol


	12. I Can't Escape This Feeling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something major happens, and it's a bit more than Callum can handle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //WARNING: NSFW IN THIS CHAPTER. IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ NSFW, SKIP THIS CHAPTER OR WAIT UNTIL NEXT UPDATE//
> 
> "“Hey lover boy, who are the roses for?”"

I pulled into the driveway, seeing Derek’s car was already there. It was then that I realized why I felt guilty earlier.

 

_ Right, that means he’ll go back home. But why do I feel guilty over that? _ I pondered, stepping up to the porch. When I opened the door, there was a bouquet of roses sitting on the table in the middle of the living room. I raised an eyebrow in confusion.

 

_ Who’s that for? _ I approached it and noticed there was a note attached to it,  _ Surely he has some lover he’s waiting for, but why would he have the roses here? _ I wandered into the kitchen to see Derek with his back to me, looking out the window.

 

“Hey lover boy, who are the roses for?” I chuckled, crossing my arms. Derek looked around in surprise before he smiled, realizing it was me. He seemed nervous and he looked down, shuffling his feet.

 

“Well, I was thinking that this morning was really awkward and I wanted to make it up to you in some way. What’s a better way than roses?” He smirked, and my own grin melted away.

 

“I- thank you.” I looked down slightly, and he stepped towards me. I swallowed nervously and sighed, “I’m really grateful for it, but I have a feeling I know what the real reason was behind getting me the flowers. I’m also appreciating that as well, but I really don’t think it’s a good idea.” The words stung him, I know it, but they stung me too. He frowned, but my words didn’t completely discourage him.

 

“Cal, I know you’re afraid to get into a relationship again because of what Blake did - and I certainly don’t blame you, but you can’t keep yourself from being in other relationships and allowing yourself to be happy.” I clenched my jaw, remembering what happened earlier today.

 

“Actually, that’s not really the story.” I started, gut wrenching, “Blake came by today and I said a few things and I don’t think he’s going to bother me anymore.” 

 

“Really? I’m glad to hear that.” He placed his hand on my arm gently and grinned at me before taking on a more serious expression, “I know what you’re thinking, Cal. Now that you don’t have to worry about Blake anymore, I don’t need to be here anymore, right? That may be true, and I’ll be able to go back home and we’ll just go our separate ways? Well, I’m not about to let us just stop talking all of a sudden.”

 

Before I could reply with anything, his lips collided into mine. God, how I missed this. My mind screamed at me to push him away, to not let anything else happen, but my body didn’t listen. It craved more,  _ I _ craved more, and I found myself pushing back into the kiss. Eventually we pulled apart, and as we took deep breaths, our eyes met. I could feel Derek’s hand caressing my jaw, and he exhaled before pulling back in, our next kiss certainly more heated than the last. 

 

Before I knew fully what was happening, we found ourselves in my bedroom. Derek had settled me down on the bed ever so carefully, and leaned over me, bringing us both into another kiss. His hands grabbed my hips, and I felt myself tense a little bit. Derek must have sensed my sudden reflex since he broke off the kiss and released his grip, his hands still hovering over my waist. He looked at me in the eyes, his own eyes wide with concern.

 

“It’s fine, I just wasn’t expecting it.” I stuttered out, my head light. Hesitantly, he took hold of my hips again - more gentle this time - and instead of proceeding to kiss my lips, his lips found themselves on my neck, which caused me to shudder in pleasure, and I held back a moan. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer to me. His hands caressed my sides slowly, and he got up slightly, taking his shirt off.

 

_ Tell him to stop. _ I thought, but I couldn’t open my mouth. I missed him, I’m not going to lie to myself.  _ Maybe this won’t mean anything. _ I tried to convince myself, but when I looked up at him, his chest bare, and with the look in his eyes, I knew it wasn’t going to be nothing. He leaned back down, kissing me passionately, and my arms instinctively wrapped around him again. I felt his hand creeping up the hem of my shirt, and I shifted my weight so I could remove my shirt. Once it was off, he took the shirt from me and tossed it next to his and he began kissing my chest, looking up once in awhile, probably to make sure I was okay with what he was doing.

 

And oh god, was I. I don’t recall doing so, but sometime between our “make-out session” my eyes had closed, purely out of bliss. I felt him make his way towards my hips, his lips causing a buzzing sensation every time they came into contact with my skin, and if my face could get any redder, it sure as hell did. I felt him tug at the waistline of my pants, and I looked to see him staring at me, silently asking permission. I brought own hands down and helped him take off my pants, only my boxers remained. I felt his hand palm my through the cloth, and I held back a moan, back arching at the sensations. I opened my eyes slightly, and I saw a smirk plastered on Derek’s face. 

 

I looked away slightly, embarrassed out of my mind. The way he made me feel in all honesty was amazing - as good as I remembered, but it still embarrassed me nonetheless since we haven’t shared an intimate moment like this in nearly a decade. I felt a slight tug at my boxers, and I nodded my head, looking back at him. He removed the last piece of clothing I was wearing, leaving me clad naked, laying on the bed in front of him. Fortunately, he took off his own boxers so I didn’t feel as exposed. 

 

“Do you have any lube?” I hear him whisper, and I nod, leaning over the side of the bed to grab the unopened bottle from underneath the bed. He took it in his hands and applied the liquid generously. He leaned forward and our lips connected as I felt one of his fingers entering me. I let out a quiet moan, and I felt him chuckle slightly as the kiss became more passionate. I was immediately lost in the ecstasy of the feeling, every movement going by fast, I was hardly aware of what was even going on.

 

I felt him enter a third finger and he gracefully kissed my neck, leaving that specific part of my body cold when his lips disconnected from my skin.

 

“You’re beautiful.” I hear him whisper and I look away slightly, embarrassed by the comment. I felt his fingers leave my body, and I lay there, my perspirating body feeling empty. Never before have I been with a partner who worshipped me like this. Every movement he made was humble and kind, as if we truly wanted both of us to enjoy the moment and not just him. It was a weird concept for me to understand, seeing as every other guy I’ve ever been with had treated me like just some personal plaything.

 

“You ready?” he hushed against the skin of my neck, lining himself up outside of my opening. I felt myself get goosebumps as I bit my bottom lip after uttering a heavy “Yes.” Derek slowly slid into me, pacing both of us as he held his member at the base to guide it. My breathing turned into soft yet deep gasps, and it felt like every muscle in my body was tensing up at the filling sensation.

 

Derek let out low groans into my ear and it drove me absolutely wild. “Do you like that, baby?” By now my only reply could be a slightly louder moan. He must have really enjoyed it, because his groans also got louder as he lightly nibbled just above my collarbone. When he made it all the way in, he let me take some time to adjust to his size. I could feel him leaving love marks across my shoulders and neck as I nuzzled my cheek against his, feeling his light stubble.

 

A few moments passed and I felt less embarrassed enough to start slowly thrusting my hips, loving the way I could feel every inch of my lover’s member inside of me. Derek continued to let me ride him until I let up, signalling to him that it was his turn once again. When he took lead once more, he began to increase his dominance, speed, and force but I loved every second of it. It was both primal yet passionate at the same time and it was everything I ever needed.

 

I desperately dug my nails into Derek’s back, aching to get as close to him as I could in every sense of the way. He gripped fistfulls of the white bedsheet behind me, knuckles pale. There were no thoughts in my mind besides how good everything felt. No one had ever taken me to this place before. 

 

Without warning, Derek’s mouth collided with mine to make a sloppy kiss. It probably sounds corny, but I swear I felt all sorts of sparks and fireworks. Derek’s thrusts slowed and became more focused, almost pulling completely out then back in with such force that I probably would have inched back if he wasn’t holding me. We were both so temptingly close to finishing. I looked into Derek’s beautiful brown eyes and took note of all the feelings that displayed in them. Passion. Lust. Concern, as though even at this point he would stop everything at the drop of a hat if I had asked him to. Being cared for like that was such a mind blowing sensation, and realizing it helped me spill over the edge.

 

Hot white shot out of my member and onto both mine and Derek’s torsos. Not long after, Derek thrusted one final time and released his load into my crevice. The warmth of it all satisfied me deeply. We both lay there panting for what seemed like hours.

  
I closed my eyes, unaware of my surroundings. At some point after, he must have gotten up and gone to the bathroom because I felt something wet against my skin, wiping away the mess. I heard footsteps as he walked back into the bathroom, and I felt a little bit guilty. Before I could even do anything though, I was fast asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah i couldn't finish writing this part I was too embarassed("": so i had my friend write it for me LOL so credit to them and thanks RIP.  
> I wrote a bit of nsfw but not the entire thing haha, I tried, I really did. I just couldn't bring myself to do it 
> 
> Also, updates after this may go a bit slower than intended. Since I had such a hard time writing this before I got help, I got a bit caught up in my work. Plus I'm not sure what to do after, whether to end it on a good note or a bad one, I haven't finished the chapter after this one yet ): Hopefully I'll be able to finish it and get ahead of the chapter so I don't have to worry about it LOL


	13. Broken in Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Plot twist? Plot twist! Ending #1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "“Derek, the only way you can help him is if you just back off, alright? He’s pretty shaken it up as is, if you try to argue with me, it’ll only make things worse. Please, just leave or go into another room.”"

I woke up, my eyes blurry as I blinked the tiredness out of them. When I saw Derek’s sleeping form next to me, I remembered what happened last night.

 

_ Shit. _ I looked away, getting out of the bed and finding my clothes that had been thrown off to the side hastily. Slipping into my briefs, I shuddered slightly, not looking at the sleep male in my bed as I exited the bedroom. 

 

Stumbling into the kitchen, I turned on the faucet and washed my hands, rubbing them fiercely together until they were raw. My phone laid there on the counter, I forgot I had set it down before Derek...nevermind. I grabbed it and, with my hands shaking, I unlocked it, bringing up Mayka’s number.

 

_ What am I doing? Am I just going to tell her I had sex with my ex boyfriend that I dated in high school? I can’t do that, she’ll be weirded out and she’ll freak. _ I began typing absentmindedly into the keypad and I only read the message I had typed once I had clicked send.

 

C: I fucked up.

 

She responded almost immediately.

 

M: What? Callum, what on earth are you talking about? What did you do?

 

C: I’m sorry.

 

M: Callum, seriously. What did you do

 

I stared blankly at my phone, losing track of the time before I noticed she was typing again.

 

M: Seriously dude, respond. If you don’t answer I’ll come over to your house I swear

 

C: I did something bad. I feel awful and I shouldn’t have done it and I’m terrible and I don’t know what to do

 

M: Well, maybe if you explained to me what happened, I would be able to help?

 

C: It’s hard to explain

 

M: Surely it can’t be THAT hard. Come on Callum, it’s okay. You can tell me, I won’t judge you

 

C: ...i uh...fuck dude, I can’t do this over text, and I can’t call you. You can’t come over either

 

M: why not?

 

C: because there’s someone else here and i...wouldn’t want to wake them up.

 

M: Wait a minute...Derek’s still at your house, right? What happened?

 

M: Callum.

 

M: Callum I swear to god.

 

I looked away from my phone, not wanting to answer her texts, my hands still shaking relentlessly.

 

M: I don’t care what you’re going to do or what you did, Callum. I’m coming over

 

I felt my throat tighten and I wobbled my way over to the couch, sitting there as my leg bounced persistently, and I looked around frantically. The only sound that accompanied me was the house creaking ever so often.

 

It took me awhile to realize I had pulled my knees to my chest, my nails clawing slightly at my legs. I felt my heart flutter in my chest as my breath quickened. My eyes blinking rapidly, I repeated to myself in my head.

 

_ It’s fine, you’re fine. Easy...easy…Just breathe... _ I gripped my legs tighter, squeezing my eyes shut as I tried to steady my breathing, the words I repeated in my head helping only slightly. 

  
  


Time seemed to fly by, and despite my ears seeming muffled, I heard frantic knocking on the door. It creaked open and Mayka rushed inside. Her eyes widened in surprise as they rested on my panicky self, and she carefully yet swiftly approached me, making a strenuous attempt to keep me from slipping further into panic.

 

“Callum, look at me. You’re fine, okay? Just take deep breaths - breathe with me.” She rested her hand gently on my shoulder as she stared me in the eyes. Soon enough, my breathing began to calm down. Only when she was sure that I was calm enough, she began to speak.

 

“Hey bud, can you tell me what happened? I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what went on.” My hands still wrapped around my legs, I shook my head vigorously, sniffling.

 

“I…” I tried to speak, but couldn’t get the words out properly.

 

“Take your time, Callum. We have all day.” She spoke, her voice soft and caring - almost motherly. I nodded, closing my eyes for a moment as I tried to find my voice.

 

“D-Derek and I…” My throat tightened again and I shut my mouth, forcing back sobs. She squeezed my hand gently, and hovered her other hand over my back, careful not to touch it.

 

“What did you two do?” She prompted, eyebrows furrowing in concern.

 

I unwrapped my hands from around my legs and pushed the heels into my eyes, feeling the wetness of tears slide down my cheek slightly.

 

Instantly, I froze upon hearing footsteps coming from the hallway. I could sense that Mayka looked up, but she kept her mouth shut.

 

“Hey Cal, you up yet-” Derek halted when he saw me in the condition I was, eyes widening, “Holy shit, what happened?” He almost immediately began walking towards me again, but Mayka lifted her hand, telling him to halt.

 

“He almost had a panic attack, he’s not doing too good at the moment. Now I don’t know what you two did that made him so upset, but I want you stay away from him while he’s in such a poor condition.” Derek clenched his jaw, frowning before he opened his mouth.

 

“Hey, I care about him, and if I did something wrong, I want to know what. I want to help him.” Derek took a step forward, but Mayka cut him off again.

 

“Derek, the only way  _ you _ can help him is if you just back off, alright? He’s pretty shaken it up as is, if you try to argue with me, it’ll only make things worse. Please, just leave or go into another room.” Derek balled up his fist, narrowing his eyes in anger, and I looked over at him, lowering my hands. When my brain registered the sight, I felt my heart beginning to race.

 

_ Oh no. _ I shook my head, squeezing my eyes shut and I could feel my hands shaking by my sides.

 

“Listen here, you have no say in what I can and can’t do. Just let me help him.” Derek glared at Mayka while grimacing, and in response, she stood up.

 

“In case you forgot Derek, I’m one of Callum’s closest friends. If you’re going causing him problems, I have every right to try and protect him, even if that means telling you what to do. I don’t want to cause a fight, so please, just go.” As I sat there trembling, I could hear the venom riling in her voice.

 

_ You have to be the one to end this. _ My consciousness said, and I let out a shuddery breath.  _ Don’t let Mayka get hurt because of a mistake you made. That wouldn’t be right. _ Looking up, I saw that Mayka and Derek were both clearly on edge, standing in front of each other and only inches away. I got up from the couch, legs shaking.

 

“Derek, please leave.” I spoke, my voice quiet. Derek stopped to stare at me, eyebrows raised in both shock and confusion.

 

“Cal...Listen” He began to say, but I shook my head.

 

“Out. I’m sorry, it’s just not going to work out. I’m sorry.” I looked away, unable to look him in the eyes. I heard him heave a sigh as he began to make his way towards the door. When he was standing in the doorway, he paused to look back, hoping that I would change my mind, but I refused to do so, and he left, closing the door behind him.

 

Mayka turned to look at me, her face softened.

 

“Oh, Callum. I’m so sorry.” She mumbled as I began to break down into tears, my hands covering my face as she pulled me into an embrace. I tried to speak through the choking sobs, but when I opened my mouth, I choked on my own words.

 

“It’s fine, Callum. It wasn’t meant to be. Soon you’ll look back upon this in a few years and you’ll wonder ‘why did I ever freak out this much about this guy? It’s not big deal.’” Taking in her words, I nodded. I believed them, but my heart was still torn in two. 

 

We stood there in an embrace for a while, and when we finally broke apart, I smiled at her, finally able to find my words.

 

“Thank you...for being there for me. I should’ve listened to you from the beginning, and I was stupid to not. Thank you for helping me.” I said, my voice shaking, and she smiled softly, rubbing my arm.

 

“I would do anything for a friend. Don’t you ever doubt that. I know you’ve been through so much, and I want to look out for you to the best of my abilities.” She paused, looking towards the door, “How about we go out with Abel and go get something to eat? It’s nearly lunchtime and I bet you’re starved.” I nodded, giving her a faint smile as we headed out.

  
  
  


**| EIGHT MONTHS LATER |**

  
  
Admittedly, I’ve been doing a lot better since Derek left. I’ve been going out more than I used to, and began talking to more people. I know we weren’t together a second time, but it still left me shattered when he acted out the way he did. Abel and I had begun talking more frequently, and it really surprised me when he asked me out about two months ago. We’ve been happy together, and I’ve pretty much forgotten about all the bad relationships I had. It was hard at first, yeah, but I’m doing so much better, and I feel I’m truly happy and healthy again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> muahahhaa,  
> I"M SORYR  
> THIS IS THE "BAD ENDING". IF ENOUGH PEOPLE WANT IT, I'LL ADD A GOOD ENDING?  
> I STILL HAVE TO WRITE IT, BUT HEY IF ENOUGH PPL WANT IT...

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, hope you're enjoying it so far! So far, I'm only posting this one chapter for now. I already have more of it written out, but I want to get a schedule going to keep me motivated to continue writing this and I figured putting it on a site like this would make me want to continue working on it.  
> All comments and feedback are also appreciated!
> 
> I'm also probably going to begin each of these chapters with a quote from the section posted. It's going to be something that seems of great emotional depth or something that has to do with the plot.


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